Words of Wisdom From Past Grooms

1. You're about to become a team, so be sure to get involved. Your wedding day will be much more memorable and intimate if you've helped to plan it.

2. Your Bride will no doubt appreciate your doing some research on various tasks. There's a lot to consider and any way that you can contribute will be warmly welcomed. Being prepared and knowledgeable pays off in many ways... your poise and assurance puts everyone at ease and the Bride's parents will know that they can count on you.

3. Although we've provided a detailed overview of your responsibilities, you might want to purchase a copy of The Groom's Survival Manual by Michael R. Perry if you want a more detailed resource.

4. Most Grooms don't realize that how you plan your wedding with your Bride is crucial to starting your marriage out on the right foot! Weddings can be stressful for both the Bride and the Groom... nerves are on edge, family members each have their own agendas, and costs accumulate rapidly. There's a lot to consider, but remember, you're setting the stage for future communication patterns!

5. Be sure to keep it in perspective and focus what's important as none of the decisions and details of your wedding are as important as the memories you'll be creating! It's obviously a milestone in your life so be sure to enjoy it!

6. Help to compose or at least review your engagement announcements, wedding invitations, marriage vows, ring inscriptions, and newspaper announcements to reflect your values and personality, as well as the Bride's.

7. Your Bride will unquestionably become overwhelmed at some or several points in time... you can count on it. Although her Maid of Honor, Brides Maids, and family will be empathetic, you may be the only person that can make a difference. Remember, you don't need to have all the answers. Sometimes, just listening may be all it takes.

8. Choosing your Best Man and the Groomsmen are decisions that can require some artful negotiations as often your Bride and her family will have some input on the matter. Do your best to consider the long-term pros and cons when in doubt.

9. Be sure to compose your toast to your Bride sooner than later so that during the months you're preparing for the wedding, you'll be able to refine and rework it. Make it memorable enough to frame... she'll appreciate your declaration of your love.

10. Although it's traditional for the Bride's family to pay for most of the expenses, most couples are contributing to the bills so managing your budget will most likely end up on your TO DO list. And this is an area that could end up trying your relationship from the get go. So be sure to talk openly about it and make sure that you and your Bride are on the same page.

11. Make sure you get a thoughtful gift for your attendants that shows them how much you appreciate their friendship and responsibility. You may be changing your life style, but you're not changing your friends! These guys and gals will always be there in time of need.

12. You might consider enrolling in dance lessons, or at least practicing, as the first dance can be uncomfortably long when you're unsure of your ballroom skills!

13. If you don't already live together as many do these days, be sure to take charge of coordinating the move well ahead of time. It's important to start your life as newlyweds in a settled, organized environment. You'll have a lot of adjustments to make, so try to think ahead.

14. If you intend to stay at the reception for several hours and will be drinking, hire a late night limousine or have a designated driver on hand.

15. Try to create some private time at the reception, when you can personally thank both your parents and the Bride's parents. Think about what you're going to say, as it will be remembered for a long time.